countdown to hippie island

A few days of spring would have been nice.

Going directly from snowfall at the end of last week to a forecast high of 29C this weekend is a bit of a shock to the circuitry. With no time for acclimatization, we are putting our winter boots away in the basement (for the third time this spring) and slapping on the sunblock. And the odd and disturbing part of it is that there are no leaves on the trees yet. It feels wrong to be sweating in the blazing sun while staring at bare branches that are just starting to sprout the smallest of buds.

But that is the last of the complaining that you will hear from me. The whole family has the day off today, making for an extra long Victoria Day weekend (and for my non-Canadian friends, a bit of a primer in Canadiana: call it "the May two-fer" and you will fit right in).

The Spousal Unit is off test-driving his new manly truck on the first of the manly fishing trips of the season, and the Resident Offspring and I are going to buy our Calgary Folk Music Festival passes today.

The full line-up was announced yesterday and it is a real winner! Those of you who have been visiting here for a while know how much I love the Calgary Folk Festival and I have to tell you that once again, the festival organizers have come through with a fabulous lineup.

Some returning favourites that I am thrilled to see back on the island:
- the Weakerthans (I'll try not to accidentally stalk John K Samson this year)
- Great Lake Swimmers
- Ani DiFranco
- Bedouin Soundclash

Some artists I have not seen at the festival before about whom I am uber-excited:
- Andrew Bird
- Calexico
- Basia Bulat (have seen her before, but I think the folk fest setting is perfect)
- the Be Good Tanyas
- Carolina Chocolate Drops
- the Consonant C
- the Handsome Family
- Kara Keith
- Charlie Musselwhite
- Conor Oberst
- Sam Roberts
- Jesse Winchester
- Woodpigeon (seen before, but not at the folk fest)

And of course, there are always those musicians that come out of nowhere to completely blindside me with their awesomeness. I love those kind of surprises.

I can't wait!

everything in its right place

For someone who prides herself on being pretty organized with paperwork, I sure spent a lot of time rummaging through the filing cabinets tonight, becoming increasingly sweaty and panicky as I tried to find the Resident Offspring's social insurance card (which I knew I had put away in a safe place). Some of those safe places are safe even from me.

Today the Resident Offspring landed a summer job at a living history park close to our place. I am enormously proud of her of course, but I have to admit that I'm actually a little envious, as she gets to do a rotation of various jobs around the park and wear a historical costume and everything. Who knows, maybe next summer I'll be asking her to give me a reference so that I can work there as well.

Scooping ice cream is starting to look pretty good right now.

I'm starting to feel increasingly like a pawn in the escalating power struggle at work and I'm starting to get the distinct impression that I will be considered disposable once all the dust has settled.

Ah well, time for a change anyway.

And I have to send big props out to my musicologist blogging buddy, Sean from Everything is Pop, Pop is Everything, for the fabulous dvd he put together of Radiohead's In the Basement sessions. The production quality is astounding, the content is mesmerizing. Next to the Resident Offspring scoring her first summer job (and me finally finding her blasted SIN), receiving Sean's thoughtful parcel was the highlight of my day.

best thing you'll read all day

if you're a Radiohead fan that is.

Actually even if you are only mildly curious about them, you may enjoy this stellar interview that The Word did with all the members of the band. Much as I love Thom, I really want to hear what Colin and Jonny and Phil and Ed have to say as well. And they all have some very thoughtful, irreverent and pithy things to say. Let's hear it for deadpan British humour.

This is a long read (6 pages), but utterly enthralling.

My heart goes out to the poor sods who failed to make it to the Bristow, VA show last night due to a combination of torrential rains, flooded and grid-locked roads, and a nightmarish scenario at the Nissan Pavilion parking lot where people had to queue for hours to park and then latecomers were turned away by the parking Nazis while the show was still ongoing.

I'm surprised nobody died.

But I understand that Radiohead did their best to put on the show of their lives for those rain-soaked fans who did make it and then spent the night shivering in the cold.

The pneumonia will only last a couple of weeks, the memories will still be there for tormenting your grandchildren with years from now.

home lobotomy for dummies

At first it broke my heart to take down the tree, but it had been slowly dying for several years and was now 3/4 dead, looking like hell right in the front yard, and compromising the health of the row of spruce trees it was crowding against. The arbourist was going to charge an exorbitant amount to remove it, and as we had been cooped up inside for far too long anyway thanks to the weekly snowfalls we have been receiving and were now itching to get our hands dirty, I said, fuck it, let's do it ourselves.

How hard can it be?

It was a plum, apparently, although I had always thought of it as a hawthorn because of the massive spikes it sported along its branches. I was always fearful whenever Sputnik climbed up into it that she would put an eye out on those spikes (when you become a mother, you automatically develop a fear of someone putting an eye out - it's a trait that's carried on the x chromosome that doesn't surface until the proper progesterone surge happens, apparently). And lately the neighbourhood kids have been running back and forth across our yard, ducking under the very low hanging branches of the plum tree and I was sure somebody was going to be impaled horribly.

So it was time for the tree to come down.

The first part went quite well. The Spousal Unit trimmed off the larger branches and I hauled them to the backyard. But when it came to sawing off the four-limbed trunk, we realised that we were going to have to break down and buy a chain saw after all. So while he headed to Canadian Tire, I started gathering up the rest of the branches.

All was well until I stood up while still under the god-damned tree and whacked my head hard on the branch. And then the blood started dripping onto my shirt and I had one of those oh shit moments. As in oh shit, I think I did some damage. I flung my gardening glove off and reached up to touch my head and encountered a 2 inch wooden spike sticking out of my head. I withdrew the spike from my skull, staggered into the house, and slapped the dishcloth on my head - the same filthy dish cloth with which I had cleaned up the counters earlier - and called out to the Resident Offspring, "I just stabbed myself in the head". "Oh dear" she replied, but did not come downstairs to check up on her poor dying mother.

She did come down a few minutes later as I was sitting on the stairs with my head between my knees. I think the moaning drew her away from the computer. Apparently she thought that I meant I had just whacked myself in the head with a branch. I guess she is used to me being a little overly dramatic at times.

Anyway, after staunching the blood flow, I did slap a little Polysporin on the wound and, trying not to imagine the possibility of any sort of parasite being present on the lobotomy spike and burrowing its eggs into my brain, I did survive enough to help the Spousal Unit take down the rest of the tree (whilst spouting bravadoes like "that bitch is coming down because now it's personal!") and cut most of it up for firewood.

This afternoon, I was in the backyard cutting up the remainder of the branches into pieces that would fit into the firepot when the neighbour down the road decided that the first nice warm Sunday afternoon we have had this year would be a good day to let his two little kids ride their little motorcycles that sound like sewing machines up and down and up and down and up and down the back lane.

The Resident Offspring had joined me in the backyard to paint while I cut up branches and started laughing at me as I launched into the usual passive-aggressive stance that I go into when I get pissed off at someone I don't know well enough to yell at. After a while I started glaring over the fence at their father who was leaning against somebody's garage door watching them roar back and forth, and then I tried hucking spruce cones at them to see if I could nail them in the helmet, and all the while the Resident Offspring was egging me on and asking me things like "who's more passive-aggressive, you or Thom Yorke?" and we would get into a discussion along the lines of WWTD (What Would Thom Do).

Finally, I decided it was time to act like an adult instead of working myself into a lather, and take the direct confrontation route, which I generally avoid like the plague. So headed out to the backlane, walked up to the idiot who spawned the brats kids' father and asked him if he could take them down somebody else's backlane for a while.

And he did!

I am so pleased with myself for taking direct action today instead of hiding behind passive-aggressive moves and getting progressively more pissed off. If that's what having a tree parasite burrow into your brain does, then I just might take up arbour-care as a hobby. Because I kicked ass today.

holding up horizons with her hands

I could not believe the rows upon rows of wrapped flower arrangements sitting outside the local florist shop this afternoon, waiting to be delivered to beloved mothers from slightly guilty adult children everywhere.

My own dear mother and the Spousal Unit's Maternal Unit have already received their guilt bouquets and photo albums filled chockablock with snapshots of the much fawned-over Resident Offspring and her parents on their great California odyssey. At their age, it's what they want, and to be honest, I completely understand their desire to accumulate no more material crap in their lives.

Into this Mother's Day Weekend Eve comes yet another tag from that little vixen, Bloody Awful Poetry. There appears to be no stopping her, now that she has regained her health.

And this is a particularly fun tag, in that it combines the quirkiness of the random shuffle on my laptop with some arbitrary questions. Old meme that never gets old. It's been forever since I did this one.

I'll even throw in a few mp3s for songs that I think a lot of you won't already have. Because you're so cute.

Of course, with this being Friday, it's also time to play the Friday Random Ten. And being a multi-tasker from way back, I'm combining all of the above to produce The Mother of All Random Playlists (with Questions):

You know how this works:

1. Put your iTunes/ music player on Shuffle2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.

3. You must put down the song name no matter what. After you’ve answered all of the questions, tag 5 other people and then let them know they’ve been tagged to do the meme themselves

What would best describe your personality?

Meant to Be - Squirrel Nut Zippers
I take this as a compliment, laptop. I like you too.

What do you like in a guy/girl?

Moses? I Amn't - Mogwai
Well nor am I. So we should get along fine.

How do you feel today?

Oliver's Song - John-Rae and the River
John-Rae and the River always make me feel good. I would listen to them any day! You should too.

What is your life's purpose?

Dogsong aka Sleep Dog Lullaby - the Be Good Tanyas
I actually only sleep about 6 hours a night. Does it show, is that what you are trying to say, laptop? I look tired? Yeah well you look like shit sometimes too.

What is your motto?

Everybody Knows - James
And since they already know, there is nothing to hide. Party naked.

What do your friends think of you?

We Must Destroy - Jane Vain and the Dark Matter
Those must be my old friends from university. I am a sedate and proper matron now.

What do you think of your parents?

Groovy Train - Spartacus
They get groovier the older I get!

What do you think about very often?
Sex Is Boring - Ballboy
Oh god, I need counseling, don't I?

What do you think of your best friend?

Synethesia - Porcupine Tree
Okay, that's kinda sweet.

What do you think of your crush?

Bone Machine - Pixies
Totally.

What is your life story?

St. Louis Blues - Louis Prima
Not really, I've had a pretty blessed life, actually.

What do you want to be when you grow up?

Swim for Health - Ballboy
I think it's a little late to perfect my front crawl. But I can swim all the way out to the buoys without stopping.

What do you think when you see your crush?

Australia - the Shins
Good idea. If we ran away to Australia, they would never find us.

What do your parents think of you?
I Drive - the Awkward Stage
Not true, they never drove me anywhere. In fact, the one time my father had to pick me up from a school dance when I cut my foot, he drove to the wrong school, and I got yelled at later because he waited outside the wrong school for half an hour.

What do strangers think of you?

I Can't - Radiohead
Why not? Please, think of me, strangers, please!

How's your love life?

Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now - the Smiths
Jesus christ on a cracker, it's not that bad, is it? Does it show?

What will they play at your funeral?
Punchdrunk Lovesick Singalong - Radiohead
That would be completely awesome! Especially if everybody did get drunk and started fighting and singing. I would be smiling upon them beatifically from my burlap sack in the forest.

What will you dance to at your wedding?

Piazza, New York Catcher - Belle and Sebastian
A song about watching a baseball game. It's probably a good thing I am planning to stay married to husband number one.

What is your hobby/interest?

Birth, School, Work, Death - the Godfathers
Bullshit! That's not a hobby - that's just life!

What's your biggest secret?

The Dark of the Matinée - Franz Ferdinand
What happens in the matinée, stays in the matinée.

What do you think of your friends?

I Should Get Up - Teddy Thompson
I should! Especially if my friends are waiting.

What song do you listen to when you are sad?

Box Full of Letters - Wilco
That is a little poignant, isn't it?

In love?

Postcards from the Beach - Ballboy
What's not to love about sending postcards from the beach? I'd love that.

What song do you air guitar to?

La Fin du Monde - the Hylozoists
You should see my slo-mo air guitar.

What should be your signature karaoke song?

Something Changed - Pulp
I always thought it would be either the Pogues' Fairytale of New York or Neutral Milk Hotel's Two-Headed Boy, but I am nothing if not open-minded.

What is your greatest desire?

You Love It - Peaches
Everybody wants somebody (or something) to love.

What does next year have in store for you?
Now I Wanna Be a Good Boy - the Ramones
Obviously I will be settling down next year. And going through gender reclassification.

What's your outlook on life?
Thirteen - Elliott Smith
That's actually generous. Most people accuse me of channeling my inner eight-year-old boy far too much.

How will you die?

Looking at You - the Damned
Right in the eye. And cursing you.

Do people secretly lust after you?

Seven Seas - Echo and the Bunnymen
Only the pirates, apparently.

The best advice you will ever get?
It's Bad You Know - R.L. Burnside
No doubt referring to the outdated yogurt. When in doubt, throw it out.

~*~
I am going out on a limb here and tagging everybody on my blogroll to do this one. It's lots of fun. And you can only spend so much time on the phone with your mom.

Have a great Mother's Day weekend everybody! Remember, anybody who has ever birthed a child does not cook, clean, or grocery shop this weekend. It won't kill you to eat takeout for a couple of days.

but enough about you, let's talk about me

Now that's dedicated blogging.

Recently Bloody Awful Poetry came down with a nasty case of Dengue fever that landed her in the hospital. So what's one of the first things she does when she re-enters the land of the living? She sends out a tag of course.

And who am I to refuse a tag from someone who might very well have been using her last moments on this plane to learn more about me?

These be the instructions what came along with it:

Remove one question from below, and add in your personal question, make it a total of 20 questions, then tag 8 people in your list. List them out at the end of this post. Notify them in their chat box that he/she has been tagged. Whoever does the tag will have blessings from all.

(Okay, I'm going to halt things right here for a second to assure you that there is no way on god's green earth that I am tagging 8 people. I don't have a death wish, after all. I will follow BAP's example on this and tag the much more palatable number of 3 fine bloggers. I'm still expecting blessings from all, mind.)

1. Who is your all-time inspiration?
I am inspired by many different people, for many different reasons. But the person who most embodies all that I hold sacred and who truly inspires me to be true to myself, is Eric Cartman.

2. Have you given your first kiss away?

Do you mean as opposed to charging money for it? I don't recall any money changing hands, so I must have given it away. So, yes! The answer is yes!

3. If you were stranded on a deserted island, who are the three blog buddies you'd take with you and why?
Only three? That is indeed cruel, and causes me a great deal of anguish, thinking of all the great blog buddies I will be leaving behind.
But I am nothing if not compliant, so I will bring along:
1) Michelle -who has an encyclopedic knowledge of every known ailment.
2) Allison - who has built a house in the tropics before, and who never fails to make me laugh.
3) Bubs - who has a background in law enforcement and narcozoology, as well as plenty of hands on experience in mixology. There are bound to be some coconuts on that island that are just crying out for a little cocktail umbrella.

4. Where is the place you want to go to the most?
The bathroom.

5. If you could have one dream come true, what would it be?
The one where I ran into Thom Yorke in the hallway of the high school after Radiohead played an impromptu concert for our class. Except I would change the part of the dream where he told me that he was quitting music and that was Radiohead's last ever concert. And I'd also change it so that after he finished weeping we would go for a nice cup of tea together.

6. Do you believe in seeing a rainbow after the rain?
Sure, if the conditions are right. Rainbows only occur, though, when there is sun or moon illuminating the raindrops. Also if the sun is too high in the sky (higher than 42 degrees altitude), you won't see a rainbow. ... Oh, do you mean metaphorically? No, not necessarily; sometimes after rain, there is just more rain.

7. What are you most afraid of losing right now?
My eyesight. That's always been my biggest fear.

8. If you win one million dollars what would you do?
Quit my job, build that cottage, publish a magazine, run a music promotion business, open a wildly popular all-ages concert venue (with an attached coffeeshop/bookstore) to showcase local talent and attract all my favourite bands to the city. And I guess I will have run out of money by then.

9. If/when you meet somebody that you love, would you confess it to him/her?
It would depend whether or not my husband was present.

10. List out three good points of the person who tagged you.
I don't really know Bloody Awful Poetry all that well yet, but she does:
1) have one of the best blog names out there (to paraphrase Michael Scott: "that's what Morrissey said!")
2) demonstrate impeccable taste in menfolk
3) sometimes make me snort coffee out my nose with her pithy remarks

11. Three weird facts about yourself
You would think that with all the me me me memes I have done over the years, there would not be any weird facts left to divulge, but no, there's more:
1) I developed a squid allergy a few years ago. It took me three bouts of cramps and vomiting after eating squid before I figured it out
2) I can drive a tractor, including loading and unloading it off a flatbed trailer
3) I have never been able to do a cartwheel.

12. Which type of person do you hate the most?
People who don't take responsibility for their own actions. Also whiners.

13. If you have faults, would you rather the people around you point it out to you or would you rather they keep quiet?
It should be "If you have faults, would you rather the people around you point it them out to you". See, that's one of my faults, I correct people's grammar. And yet, strangely, I don't want to know about my own faults. I would rather believe that people find me perfect. So don't break my bubble!

14. What do you think is most important in life?
Self acceptance

15. Are you a shopaholic?
No no no no no, I'm strictly a focussed shopper. Shopping is a necessary evil. Well except for cds. And books. And maybe chocolate.

16. State one of your desires.
Travel. Having recently scratched the scab off a long-buried travel bug, I feel the lure of these places- Scotland, Scandinavia, Iceland, Bermuda, Brazil, and the east coast of Canada.

17. Which part of your character would you like to change?
The OCD part that says I might as well do this myself, because nobody else can do it just right. That part only makes extra work for me (and makes me a pain in the ass).

18. What have you been putting off doing lately?
What haven't I been putting off doing? I slacked off at work the other day to look up concert reviews, I still haven't finished decrapping the basement which I wanted to get done before spring, and I really really need to caulk around the shower before the wall rots out.

19. 2+2 =?
The first part of the title of a really good Radiohead song. [2+2=5 (The Lukewarm) - track one of Hail to the Thief, 2003, length - 3:19]

20. Describe yourself in three words.
Sociable, detail-oriented, pragmatic

-#-
And now it's your go, my preciouses. I close my eyes, point my mouse at my blog roll and spin three times. When it has stopped scrolling each time, I see it is pointing to Moxie, Toccata, and Dguzman. Have at it, lovelies!
-#-
Bonus points if you can pick which question I added (without first checking BAP's blog, of course - you cheaters).

Tibetan flags and pale white English boys

It would appear that Radiohead have started off their North American tour in fine style, with the inaugural concert last night in West Palm Beach.

Here's Thom Yorke, on the abundance of plastic surgery in Florida:

"We spent three days at Miami Beach. Fucking hell! What’s going on there? Some kind of reconstruction! For once I was proud to be white, pale and English."

So what does one do on their lunch break when they are too lazy to think up a real blog post? Why, they obsessively gather concert reviews, of course:

the Sun Sentinel - features photos

the Miami Herald - has some wonderfully snarky Radiohead fans making corrections in the comments. Radiohead fans are scary, but they sure are funny.

"Really? Then please tell me what song was played from the album AMNESIAC!!?? (and don't give me 'Morning Bell'... They played the KID A version....)"

The Spaghetti Incident blog - has the set list

Pitchfork - has some great photos (including the wrinkled white lounge lizard dinner jacket), the complete set list and some shameless self-promotion

And of course the NME weighs in and presents us with that great plastic surgery quote.

There's even a concert clip of The Gloaming, featuring some very fine Thom dancing - those hips don't lie.

update: because I know you just can't get enough of this stuff, here's one from Rolling Stone - with some nice photos of the stunning, yet all LED, lighting

We return to regular programing tomorrow.